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Auto death/insurance question.?

I have an interesting dilemma. Shortly after we divorced, my 1st wife was killed in a horrible car accident. Our daughter and our youngest son were with her at the time, the baby got whiplash but is fine now, but my daughter was pinned in the car, and has scarring on her legs and head now and her right arm as well. Her mom's insurance company has determined that my daughter sustained injuries that surpassed a set threshold and they are offering her a settlement for her injuries. Now here is the problem. My ex-mother-in-law has told my daughter that if she takes the money, then she is disrespecting her mother's memory, and the entire family will DISOWN my daughter! I have had full custody of all our children since the accident, and I gotta tell ya, those folks hate me. I and my new wife have spoken with my daughter regarding this, and have repeatedly told her that the money is there, she is NOT suing her mother, as her grandmother says, nor is she disrespecting her memory in any way. She's in college now, and that 10G would help her immensely. What would you do if you were her? I should mention that her grandmother lives over 5000 miles away, and has done nothing to assist my daughter with school. NOTHING. Not that that is an issue for me, my wife and I are helping her with what she needs, and she works after school. The issue is, the money is there, it has been offered on a PLATE, and it will help my little girl pay her school bills, and possibly help her get a jumpstart on her life. My ex's family doesn't call the kids, or write, except maybe once every 2 months the grandmother will call and talk to the kids for MAYBE 5 minutes. To say you will disown your grandchild over offered money….. It boggles my mind. What would you do?

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5 comments

  1. wnt-a-bby says:

    Tell your daughter to take the money. Your exwife had that insuracne for the very reason it is geting paid out!

    She cared about your kids enough to want them to be cared for should she die, and that’s what that money is. For them!

  2. Poopy says:

    Tell the grandmother where she can put her opinion – in as graphic of terms as are necessary to let her know she is making an already-difficult situation even more hurtful to your daughter and you will not put up with it. Period.

  3. Luv3Sons says:

    Agreed! Tell your daughter to take the money! That money is from an insurance company & has nothing to do with disrespecting her mother; if anything, I would think it would make her mother happy to know that she was taken care of somehow. If I was taken from my kids, I would want them to have whatever they could that would help them out, especially to help out with school! Good luck! I hope she takes it! :) She deserves it!

  4. mockingbirds says:

    You ex mother in law is being selfish and doing this so that her grandchildren – who she clearly doesnt seem to care about – dont seem to almost embrace your family and must mourn their mother for ever

    dont be ridiculous, of course she should take the money, she has fees – her mother had that insurance there for a reason so that if anything happened it shoudl be used what would be disrespecting her mothers memory would be to let the company that was supposed to protect her family in this incident keep is for their own gain when it should be given to her daughter so she can beenfit form it

    clearly her mother would have wanted the best for her daughter and you need to get his through to your daughter and explain to her that in taking it she is honoring her mothers will and essentially by taking money from a company her mother paid money to it is almost like her mother is somehow helping her through school – like some part of her after all these years is giving her a boost in life

    gd luck, ignore her selfish relatives, i doubt they are all as insane as her granny and so wont all disown her besides what were they worth anyway?

    ps so happy to here none of your children were seriously hurt in the accident (obviously scarring is serious but when you consider the alternatives…)

  5. ggraves1724 says:

    Looking at the situation in your view sounds pretty cut and dried, and given the family situation tell your daughter to take the money and use it for what she needs.

    I have to mention a fact that you are overlooking or didn’t speak to, that is, why would your daughter even believe in the ex-Mother-in-law’s claim? Since she is in college I would think she has some sort of intelligence or common sense. Even questioning whether you MIL is using sound judgment is questionable.

    Because the ex MIL is being off the wall on this thought you should sit your daughter down and explain how people can get unreasonable and out of balance in their thoughts and this shouldn’t affect her in any negative way.

    As to the part about being disowned; you need to call the ex MIL and tell of your decision to have your daughter take the money. This may take some of the misdirected agitation off of your daughter.

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