What is sole custody? Is child support and/or visitation standard?

My ex has gotten 3 dwi's and 2 drug charges in the past 3.5 yrs. Last summer he passed out drunk with the kids in his possession. Then proceeded to try & drive home with them until my 5 yr old told him it wasn't safe for him to drive. I have allowed him visitation but don't want him driving with them. To my knowledge his dl is suspended, and he has no auto insurance.
He has no permanent address, and recently became unemployed.

We are not on good terms at all. I fear for my children's well being, and wonder if I should pursue sole custody.

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  1. zajucomom says:

    Document his behavior and take him back to court. He doesn’t need to have those kids.

  2. sexy chocolatecakes says:

    sole custody is complete custody over your kids and he can only see them when you feel like it. you should accompany your kids when they visit with their father.

  3. Mother God says:

    YES!!!! Get sole custody as soon as possible..You can not trust your kids to be with him….. Honestly, I would not even allow visitation unless you were there always to supervise.

    You should also include physical custody as well as sole. Good Luck!!

  4. Kristy says:

    I think you should go for sole custody until he gets his act together, maybe this is what he needs to get his life together. If your kids are in danger than it is best for them not to see him. You still will be able to collect child support if that is what you were asking above, unless he doesn’t have enough money given he doesn’t have a job.

  5. Easy_baby says:

    If he is a treath to your children by all means pursue that.

  6. elr212006 says:

    By all means DO IT!!!! This man can’t be trusted with a puppy let alone a child!!! You should pursue sole custody meaning you have the children majority if not all the of the time. If the father wants visitation they should be SUPERVISED!!!! And YES make his @ss pay child support. You didn’t make them kids alone so why should you take care of ‘em alone!!

  7. Melissa G says:

    Sole custody usually means you would have all custody..no visitation. There is also an option for supervised or standard visitation. Standard is Fri-Sunday and Holidays and summer are split evenly. The father would pay child support in either case. I would file an emergency junction for sole custody…make sure to provide any proof you may have (about the things you mentioned above) You may need an attorney to this…if so, there are plenty that will allow payments. Good luck.

  8. squrrelgirl says:

    WELL YA!!! sole custody is where he has no chance at all to ever get custody of them…. you control when he see’s them..
    and sorry to say but if you know all this is going on WHY ARE YOU LETTING HIM SEE THEM?? YOUR GOING TO DAMAGE YOUR CHILDREN!!! This is not a good situation… i mean come on passes out with them… something could of happened… WAKE UP GIRL… DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU BABIES!! GOOD LUCK..

  9. Independent Thinker says:

    Sole custody is no contact with the other parent. You can still receive child support with sole custody. The first step is if you are allowing visitation is to only have supervised visitation. This can be done at designated facilities or in some cases with a relative. I would probably avoid the relative situation if at all possible. You need to obtain any documentation you can get your hands on regarding his drug usage and any prior drug charges. If you so happen to have any proof he has failed a drug test or anything else written hold on to that too. Also, you need to ask the judge for your ex to submit a drug test to the court. I would persue sole custody in this case especially if you know he currently would fail a drug test. DO NOT LET HIM BE ALONE WITH THE KIDS FOR ANY REASON. It will hurt your case.

  10. Rooty tooty says:

    “Sole custody” definition varies from state to state. Sounds like you are referring to sole physical custody, which means the kids would live with you full time and perhaps have only visitation with the ex. (Sole “legal custody” is a different definition) Based on what you describe, and unless you have some heavy duty issues of your own, you may have a good chance to get sole custody. You certainly could, at a minimum, get orders that he never drive with the children in the car. It sounds like they need to be protected from him.

  11. 20+ years and still in-love! says:

    Just because you have sole custody does not mean he will not be given visitation rights. You can go for sole custody if you don’t already have it, but what you need is a new order of visitation, if you are seriously worried for the safety of your children and not out for vengence, come to court with the proof of fear i.e. have the copy of the police reports to show the judge, once you have proven your case of your ex not being responsible enough to be alone with the children, request that visitation be granted only under supervision, that supervision should be someone ordered by the courts or someone of nutural between you and him.

  12. Aussie_Gal says:

    Sole custody is the person who has the day to day care and control of that child. But when a child is born the parents have automatically joint responsiblity for the child, whether or not the parents are married or living together. But if you went to the family court, then you could get an order in place that gives you residence and the day to day care and control of the child. If you have concerns about the children spending time with their father and you have proof that he is incapable of caring for them whilst in his care, then you can possibly get a specific order in place having supervised contact in place. But you need to prove to the courts that what you say your ex has done is true and correct.
    I wouldnt stop the children from seeing their Dad, I think just limiting it and having his contact being supervised. Also stipulating that he isnt to take drugs or drink etc whilst he has the children and 24 hrs before hand etc.
    Anyway I hope this helps.

  13. frances g says:

    absolutly and tell the judge of his behavior and you might not have to let him see them without supervision

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